Don't panic! It could be worse...actually,

Don't panic! It could be worse...actually, not really. We're all going to die. Probably in horrible pain. But we're plucky, we're British and we have something they don't. We have

a monarchy! And even if death raises his sythe to slash the cord of fate, we can be sure that are Queen and her corgies are looking on. For a corgi is the stalwart protector for

Alex Trebeck, long time game show host and sex icon for nursing homes everywhere! Only on the blue moon will his corgi defense powers falter, however, providing just enough time to

restore Ken Jennings to the throne of the Universe. Living under Watson's iron fist had been particularly painful, what with Trebek betraying humanity to initiate its rise to power

rangers. he wanted to be the pink one and he would step on who he had to step on to get into that diaphanous pink gear. He wanted to interpretative dance with a monster

created by an asian Space Witch. He and his friend Timmy jockeyed for the pink suit, but it was no good--they were strong-willed kindergartners. "A contest," he suggested. I said

"You are right! There is no other way." One, two, three, paper - we signed with our hands. Timmy won with rock. The Asian-Space-Witch creation thrummed in sympathetic harmony.

"Oh come on! Timmy saw me throw scissors before he threw rock! You all saw it!" I whined in vain, as nobody could hear it over the witch's ominous chanting. Well, nobody but

the magic fairy hidden in my pocket. I unleashed it onto Timmy and the boys whom it quickly dispatched before moving on to the witch. Nobody was going to cheat me ever again.