Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a naked man...

Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a naked man... He's in my garden lathering up. I don't know why. No I don't know him! Now he's rinsing off and he's picking my prize tomatoes!

While waiting for the nudist catcher, I confronted the man in my garden before my tomatoes were gone. "I'm from the future to save Sarah Connor & got hungry." OMG I'M Sarah Connor!

I eyed him with suspicion. Damn if he wasn't a looker, though, especially with that tomato juice dribbling down his chin & cocky grin on his face. "Well here I am!" I threw my arm

across his shoulders, using my other to wipe the tomato juice from his chin. "Hm," he said, and his voice was husky. That really attractive type that draws you in. "Like what you

do with your hands," he said in his deep, gorgeous voice. "Stop! He's drunk!" my friend shouted, rushing in. I realized then that I'd mistaken a hot voice for a drawling one.

"Wise men say only fools rush in..." sang the gorgeous drawling voice, and I knew at once it was the ghost of Elvis, or at least some drunk guy that looked like him. Either way, I

slapped him silly. To my great shock, my hand simply fazed through Elvis' apparition. He looked unhappy as he sang "I'm Leavin'" in a ghostly tone. Alcohol practically oozed off of

His silver tongue. Then Elvis had to loosen his belt and belched so loudly the critics held their noses and sneezed in unison. Then Elvis impersonator #5 shooed him off stage and

start his bit. Elvis didn't even get a chance to say "thank you, thank you very much" and it was just in that instant that he realized that he wasn't The King anymore and Priscilla