"let us bow our heads in prayer" said grandma.

"let us bow our heads in prayer" said grandma. she didn't know I never believed in the magical man called GOD.

But I went along with the charade because, despite my godlessness, I actually loved my grandma. So I bowed my head & pretended to pray. Suddenly a lightening bolt zapped down from

the sky and singed the ground just inches from me. I looked up, ready to retract my previous proclamations of godlessness, when I saw sparks jumping off of a nearby utility pole.

I ran screaming down the street dodging lightning bolts and then God appeared in all its glory. The bulbous eyes, dripping tomato ooze, surveyed the land. Pasta tendrils blanketed

The now candy corn alley.................I woke up with a warm sensation running down my leg

, you know what I mean? I'll let you mull over the sensational and lurid overtones. I was nodding on out on pure sugar, babe. That's what a nasty bender during All Hallows Eve

does." The explanation brought a frown on her face. Little did she know, he was 100% correct in his theory and all benders from then on had these urges. It was a medical mystery.

Someone bought her some Frownies. The Brownies were jealous and vowed bloody murder. This happened at night while she slept. The Cosmetic Wars were endless and created needless

platter for a paranoid midnight snack. She was unaware, but her stomach knew the score. It churned until it woke her up, just in time. To it she would be forever grateful.