Appropriate tools for appropriate problems,

Appropriate tools for appropriate problems, she thought, as she lifted the 4-foot bong from its case and set it on the Sherman Avenue sidewalk in downtown Coeur d'Alene. It had all

the look of a man choking on a marshmallow. She gave no thought to the odds of a bong chilling streetside. All she could consider was how fast could she make bubbles. A glance to

slaver. The barrista had just wiped the table. He had obscene facial hair and spacers in his lobe. He snapped the towel at her dirty face. More coffee drool dripped on the

hem of her frock. She looked down at it and he followed her eyes. She saw him register the offense but he began to walk away so she tripped the barrista who then stumbled into

a Blockbuster, "got lost" in the adult section, and "accidentally" bought some improper videos. That was the barista's excuse after his girlfriend pressed eject on his VCR.

Unfortunately for the barista's girlfriend, she was standing in front of the VCR when she ejected. The VHS copy of "Twice Upon a Time" shot out at her forehead, knocking her cold.

The VHS had done more than knock her out.The barista realised with horror that the blow had killed her. Their were shards of skull and pieces of brain everywhere. "WHY?" he shouted

. Then he ejected the tape. It was "Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh

Eating Maggot." Never before had he witnessed such beautiful sounds. He took the tape in his hands and liked it like a mother lion licks her newborn cub.