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The sound of kids laughing and playing in

  • The sound of kids laughing and playing in the park pisses me off with envy. The only reminders I have of my childhood are stretch marks, herpes and chronic

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  • halitosis 'cause my so-called parents didn't teach me nothin' bout no safe sex or brushin' my teeth. I was fat too. I was the kid everybody made fun of. But I showed them...when I

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  • drew a picture of my complete loserness, I showed them. But this picture changed my life. People loved this picture. They stood next to it and felt better. I decided to make prints

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  • to sell, trading my self worth for cash. The picture became viral on the internet and soon thousands of orders were coming in. I became rich but was known as a loser worldwide.

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  • I kept getting richer and richer and feeling more and more like the loser the world thought I was. I started to hate being rich & being a loser. I started to believe that to be a w

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  • which I refer to as a "double v" because if it was a "double u" it would be round. Then I realized that with money comes the abilities to make a difference and turn orange. I lob-

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  • ster. I live in sea. I have tiny mouth and must scream. Rubber bands on claws. Large creatures pointing. Me lifted by tongs. Me thrown into boiling water. I go to lobster heaven.

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  • I didn’t think I’d like lobster heaven, but it’s OK. Daily I boil up a huge pot of water and drop a human with duct-taped hands into it. Ahh, the screams! Still, I can’t help think

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  • Lp but have a taste when I stir. These ones had been hand-picked from the nearby McDonald's. The lobsters eyes lit up with the reverence of a crustacean on the right side of karma.

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  • The lobster claws clacked, clicking in the night. Antennae twirled patterns in the moonlight. The ocean ebbed and flowed, a pinprick reflection in the void of its gaze... clickety.

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3 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Aug 07 2020 @ 23:07

    Imagine if the LobsterFather met up with the Freddy Kruger of Lobsters. Now lose the velour track suits. Geesh! I didn't say you had to take their underwear. Of course, nobody wears underwear under velour track suits. Shame on me for thinking they would. I guess the velour track suit is the kilt of mob fashion. "Your flounder swims with Luca Brasi.

  2. LordVacuity Aug 07 2020 @ 23:19

    "I should have been a pair of ragged claws Scuttling across the floors of silent seas." - T.S. Eliot by Michael J. Scott, maybe. Is that what you heard? I might have heard that also. I might have. I think I did. I'm sure I did. I did.

  3. LordVacuity Aug 07 2020 @ 23:23

    7 years and change. Too bad about that overdue book in the back seat.

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