He sat there, paralyzed for 2/3 of "Coming

He sat there, paralyzed for 2/3 of "Coming to America." While Eddie hammed it up, he stared at his hand. So close to hers. Her was glistening with fake butter popcorn grease

and he knew if he was going to make a move, now was the time. He inched his hand closer to hers and their popcorn buttered hands embraced playfully until she turned to him and

said that she was dumping him for Dr. Pepper. Once again, Mr. Pibb regretted not getting his doctorate. He grabbed the last bit of popcorn and threw it at the screen, causing

popcorn to ricochet off the screen. Then Mr. Pibb researched online to determine if Dr. Pepper's degree was real. It wasn't. Now how to tell his ex-girlfriend? The truth is tough

but a dropkick to her ovaries would be tougher, so he did that instead. She was so impressed that she forgot all about the doctor and started rubbing his tab until he exploded with

undeniable dilight.The kind of pleasure he had never felt before and had been dreaming of for years...Many,many years of those wet dreams.Every night they began the same way:

He'd be looking out a dirty window at filthy streets filled with the most unsanitary looking people he'd ever seen. Later he'd awake from his dream in a cold sweat covered in

jello encircled by businessman in clean suits with money in their hands shouting energetically. His nightly sleepwalking wrestles became a large market, so unpredictable were the

It became a cult sensation. Everyone tuned in nightly to watch the crazy cat's somnambulant capers. 'Puss in Boots' had nothing on the 'Cat's Pajamas'.