The bright stars glowed with a passion, as

The bright stars glowed with a passion, as if they were brimming with pride. Against the blue hues of the sky, they stood out like

a boner in gym class shorts. A new moon peeked above the horizon of the Sierras, as if

he could distract himself with shop-worn American metaphors. But no, the boner would have known of it. It was sticking straight out. The P.E. Coach came over with his big key ring

and said "Hey Tom, looks like you need to cool your haunches. Why don't you go get the bats and gloves from the storage room. Here's the key." and hung the key ring on his pole.

Not that pole you pervert! His pole-vault. pole. It was the only way to safely pass the keys over the flash flood. Staging an track and field event in Arizona during the rainy seas

on with a Retired Old Fart from Oregon was just bad Karma! A rainy season in Oregon was another matter altogether. Of course the keys fell into the flood waters, which meant

the animatronics would be late for their shift at Chuck E. Cheese. And this was a swank loc with great buffalo wings. The bots stared where the keys sank into stormy waters, but

sadly they went down the drain. The animatronics' arms, stuck to their instruments, could not reach for the crucial keys. The rain sputtered their electronics, and Chuck would only

shake his head and repeat over and over, "Johnny B. Goode, Johnny B. Goode." The animatronics were rendered useless by the rain and all hope was lost, or so it seemed...until...

the green fairy from an absinthe bottle granted his wish to become a real boy. He stretched his new legs and signed up to compete in the London Marathon.