"...and, I have a major, major novel that

"...and, I have a major, major novel that is being published this year, it will be widely available everywhere on digital platforms, so I have that going for me."

"Do you want fries with that?" she replied, unbothered that she was serving a major major novelist to-be. "Yes, forsooth," Erwin replied novelisticly giving her a pile of coins

for a tip before she even served him. "This is an advance for your waitressing skills," Erwin explained bookishly. "I expect the best from you." She looked at the 42 cents. "Um,

those are canadian." Erwin beheld the stack of coins & said, "Consider it a fund to broaden your horizons by visiting a foreign country." Blanche filled his coffee cup & replied

, "Erwin, you know I don't really care to travel. I like my life the way it is. Simple. Complete. Quiet. Lacking Adventure." Erwin persuaded further, "But Blanche, Canada

isn't really traveling. Because we live here already. Don't we?". The was a long pause in which Blanche stroked Edwin's cheek softly, before replying: "No Erwin - this is Bulgaria

Where we were born and raised. Uncle Jakob lived across the street from here, and we used to go to his house to taste mushrooms." Erwin suddenly remembered it was THAT Uncle Jakob.

Erwin and the rest of us rapped on Uncle Jakob's door. He opened it with a grizzled hand. Sandalwood wafted across the air. "Mushrooms?" we inquired. "No, something better."

Uncle Jakob opened his trench coat to reveal a fine collection of mycological samples. There were at least three rare types of mold and--fortunately for us--the exact specimen

we needed. The day was saved, the wild ponies ran free, the babies had their pablum, and Aunt Mildred got her mustache waxed, all thanks to Uncle Jakob and his magnificent mold.