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"Why me? Why it has to be me?" - I yelled. The

  • "Why me? Why it has to be me?" - I yelled. The leader looked at me. The blood was covering his face. "Because someone has to live to tell the story" - he said. The engines of

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  • his terrible motorcycle were made of skulls, snakes and giant tape worms made his hoses, blood and vomit poured out of his tank, the tires made of stomachs. He was evil incarnate

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  • and the bee's knees. His organic motorcycle slopped slowly down the highway on its squishy gastro-wheels. Soon Evil Incarnate was pulled over by a cop on a more practical machine.

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  • Luckily the cop was hungry & easily mollified. He was chewing on the brandy snap exhaust when Evil Incarnate transmogrified into a kitten. The cop picked him up & stuffed him into

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  • The holy kitty carrier, trying to contain the evil. "I DEMAND A SACRIFICE OF YOUR FINEST FURNITURE" the kitten roared. "BURN YOUR FINEST CATNIP AT MY ALTAR" He drove the cat to

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  • the cat psychologist. As the cat shredded the sofas upholstery, the shrink asked "Fluffy, Please tell me about your Mother. Did she carry around all ze time? Give you milk from

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  • ze golden nipple? Were your brothers hairless and mean or were they furry and gentle? It seems that most had a paper route and enjoyed fine cabbage coleslaw. Your father left when

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  • he got an offer from La Cosa Nostra that he couldn't refuse. Your mother became a nun, then a whore, then a nun again. I am correct." She was correct. Madame Zootsoot spread out

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  • the contract in front of him and he had no choice but to sign. Later, as he left La Cosa Nostra, he realised that he had forgotten to ask Madame Zootsoot whether she would be able

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  • to remove his curse. As his skin turned an emerald shade of green, he knew he was too late.

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