The negotiations between Easy Button and

The negotiations between Easy Button and the CEO of Staples continued: "My client demands to be marketed as a superhero," said Easy's agent. "His superpower? Summoning toner."

CEO of Staples glared at the Button's agent. "Pretty high talk for an inanimate object." The agent whined "Remember Failsafe? It was the Red Button. Panic Room? also there."

"Don't you have any good DVDs?" I asked the agent. "Uh," he looked at me with a dumb look. "Gott in himmel! Alright, look at mine. Inner Space, Frequency, Stir of Echoes and

Right Said Fred." None of those DVD's sounded good to me. Crap. I might actually have to read, which is a bummer because

I'm somewhat illiterate. I know that reading's supposed to be 'fun' but I just can't read. So I went to the library to find Hooked-on-Phonics to help me out. Unfortunately,

the reference librarian was hard of hearing and thought I said 'chronic'. I didn't see how puffing on dank was going to help me learn to read, but hey, it was worth a shot.

and THEN... Pope Benedict XVI walks in holding the original papyrus scroll of Revelation 20... the notorious chapter on Hell. "Just kidding! You really thought I'd.... sacrilege!"

"Of course I did. And don't call me 'Rilege.'"

But they still did. In fact they never stop calling him Rilege. If you were to visit his grave you would see "Rilege" engrave there instead of his real name.