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The negotiations between Easy Button and

  • The negotiations between Easy Button and the CEO of Staples continued: "My client demands to be marketed as a superhero," said Easy's agent. "His superpower? Summoning toner."

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  • CEO of Staples glared at the Button's agent. "Pretty high talk for an inanimate object." The agent whined "Remember Failsafe? It was the Red Button. Panic Room? also there."

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  • "Don't you have any good DVDs?" I asked the agent. "Uh," he looked at me with a dumb look. "Gott in himmel! Alright, look at mine. Inner Space, Frequency, Stir of Echoes and

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  • Right Said Fred." None of those DVD's sounded good to me. Crap. I might actually have to read, which is a bummer because

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  • I'm somewhat illiterate. I know that reading's supposed to be 'fun' but I just can't read. So I went to the library to find Hooked-on-Phonics to help me out. Unfortunately,

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  • the reference librarian was hard of hearing and thought I said 'chronic'. I didn't see how puffing on dank was going to help me learn to read, but hey, it was worth a shot.

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  • I rolled a joint with a few pages of Huck Finn where Huck first smokes a pipe & got a few good hits, but then the reference librarian rolled a monster spliff from Farenheit 451

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  • and THEN... Pope Benedict XVI walks in holding the original papyrus scroll of Revelation 20... the notorious chapter on Hell. "Just kidding! You really thought I'd.... sacrilege!"

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  • "Of course I did. And don't call me 'Rilege.'"

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  • But they still did. In fact they never stop calling him Rilege. If you were to visit his grave you would see "Rilege" engrave there instead of his real name.

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1 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Feb 20 2012 @ 14:22

    Which is a fitting end for someone who doesn't like Dennis Quaid.

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