My heart skipped a beat when the lab called

My heart skipped a beat when the lab called back to say there was a problem with my sample. When I went in, they said my blood showed traces of Immaculance and they wanted

a CT scan of my abdominal area and to shave my chest for an EKG. "Traces of immaculance?" What could that possibly mean? Was I adopted? Were pickles my enemy? My paramour,

Mary Magdlene - did she only take rides on my "immaculance" because she wanted immaculate children? At first I thought she was into me because of my magic tricks, but last night

when I refused to consummate our love, Mary Magdalene declared her undying devotion and asked me to marry her. My job required me to be single, but I appreciated the sentiment.

I don't think Mary Magdalene fully understood how my "career" demands would make me unfit for family life. But then she hit me right between the eyes, "I'm late." Well, there's onl

enough letters to spell "onl", so we'll have to make that a word. Madgalene ditched me as I penciled in the new word in my dictionary, then showed it around town to the heretics.

They quickly formed a cult around it, claiming that the sacred Trigram stood for Obsculata Novus Lumos & carved ONL into their foreheads. They chanted the sacred words in order to

enter into a self-induced trance. The cult leader "faked" it and when everyone else was semiconscious he had them all sign over their assets to his Burmuda corporation. When

the cult members came to, they discovered that they'd been "had" alright. But the funny thing was, they didn't even care. As long as they had each other and their flower garden,

"Oh well, another day, ei?" said one of them, "Ha ha, indeed brother, oh my would you look at that beautiful white rose!" And they lived happily ever after... or did they?