Over thirty days of drizzling rain and my

Over thirty days of drizzling rain and my mood is as dull as the cloud who's unselfconscious drool oozes down my window. Can we all scream "GREY", god i'm sick of grey.

I REALLY should not have signed up for service on this battleship. Our uniforms were grey sweatpants and grey sweatshirts. The only show on TV was Grey's Anatomy. Red: now there's

a color for the comrades in arms! I was a big fan of Red October, and liked to sing deep sonorous patriotic soviet hymns when launching my nuclear whistles.

But Putin hated me with intense dictator hate. I made a joke punctuated with, "From Russia with love." and he smashed a vodka bottle across my forehead. That when I woke up in

a brothel for panda bears. Panda bears have trouble mating, and Putin kept kidnapping them to make it harder. Russia versus China. It was all coming together. It was all about

brothels; They were the partnership that brought the nations together and restored a dying population of

orange breasted parrots. With only 16 mating pairs left in existence the outlook was grim. Scientists needed another funding grant to continue their work. In Tasmania scientists

introduced a Taz Devil-powered centrifuge that broke spin velocity records. This innovation led to a cure for Insufficient Orange Breasted Parrot Existence: translated Marvin Gaye

"What a terrible name for a disease," lamented the professor. "You need a pronounceable acronym like SCUBA or NASA, but IOBPE?" he scoffed, "Inexcusable!"

"Well, excuuuuuussse ME," I replied sarcastically & then, discouraged, I dropped out of school. A mere 7 months later, a mysterious un-named epidemic swept the globe. Yep, IOBPE.