Sigmund Freud boxed the ears of the fantasy-prone

Sigmund Freud boxed the ears of the fantasy-prone

momma's boy on his couch. They were all momma's boys and he hated them each more than the last. Freud smacked him again & then said they were going to try something new. He hooked

them all up to their own plasticine uterus. Freud's theory was that 'owning' a uterus would make the momma's boys less envious of their mothers' uteruses (uteri?) & so less annoyin

& so less cloyin and ready to go out and fulfill their destinies as day traders. Freud himself stuck to conservative investments, primarily AAA-rated bonds, but occasionally would

Take a chance on pharmaceutical companies stock. For a while, he did well. His nephew Bernays wrote Propaganda and other famous books in the meantime. Bernays promoted things like

his own herbed sauce, and a bank he renamed Barclays. Pharmaceuticals were much better for ingestment than investment. Bernays dialed his old friend Walter White.

"BARCLAYS!" Walter White screamed forcibly. "INVEST ALL YOUR MONEY NOW." Who could question Walter White? He was a wise, experienced man.

Once. But now he was a raving maniac. When had the change occurred? No-one knew. So the fools followed Walter White's advice and lost their shirts. Meanwhile Walter was eating his

That is how it came to be that hat's came to be a dinner staple. The market crashed and White's head was mounted next to the stuffed Capybara both shot down by Teddy Roosevelt.