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"Oh no. That's bad!" Sharon thought. Infront

  • "Oh no. That's bad!" Sharon thought. Infront of her lay a letter from Harvard which had been adressed to her daughter Caroline. Caroline is a lively and happy 12 year old, who...

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  • was never acknowledged by Sharon Osborne. Her children by Ozzy was her "retirement." But Caroline was a child from a completely different

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  • loosely-organized group of dizzied, disheveled & misanthropic dregs: The West Mississippi Plastic Pants Task Force. Okay, so they meant well & worked for justice, but were weird.

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  • And smelled. Especially in the Mississippi summer. The pants didn't breathe and the sweat was profuse. But the Plastic Pants Task Force worked hard. Their first case for justice

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  • Was closing the Urban Outfitters stores that sold them. Millennials had strange tastes in fashion and needed to be re-educated immediately. The schools were encouraged to declare

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  • a jean jacket-clad baby-boomer as the official Fashion Police. His duties included snipping off manbuns, forcefully smearing perfectly winged eyeliner and

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  • throwing UGG-wearers in prison...for life. Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed his job as The Fashion Police until one fateful day. He was patrolling Madison Avenue when he spotted two

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  • garishly garbed ladies hanging out. Their over-the-top clothes vexed the die-hard fashion cop, who promptly arrested them. A lynch mob formed: "Free Miley Cyrus & Lady Gaga!" Who?

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  • What was this mob even protesting about? The ppl who were apprehended were not women, but rather men in drag. The fashion police had nothing against drag, it was just those fishnet

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  • pajamas that the drag queens insisted on wearing out in public. They had star patches to cover the important bits, but there was more skin exposed than the public could tolerate.

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