It's a true and universally known fact that

It's a true and universally known fact that cats like to lick the inside of shoes. This pleases them and brings good luck to the owner. Once the shoe full of cat spit is put on

the wearer can go about without a worry, because only good and lucky things will happen that day. At least that's according to an ancient chinese manuscript. The truth is, cat spit

-e is the worse kind of spite in the world. Cat spite is the strongest form of black magic there is. Those devilish Chinese knew this. Now with the manuscript I can harness

myself with an elaborate selection of protective spells. Unfortunately, i can't find a specific spell against Cat spite in the manuscript. Or am I misinterpreting the Chinese chara

-chimichanga menu item at an inopportune moment? Why did I agree to this date? He's a luscious cat, but he's a psychologist, and I'm more into musicians. He had bewitched me, but

that's because he's hypnotised me with ink blots, the way psychologists do. His amber eyes glowed at me over the menu. "I'll order," he purred. "Your finest fish heads, garçon!

I hate fish, but under hypnosis I ate a rolly polly halibut head with a side of surströmming. He puckered at me. I fell for him line hook and sinker. We ended up on his waterbed

; well, we started on his waterbed. We ended up on his floor. That's right. I had sex with a fish. A dead fish. Under hypnosis. Luckily though,

I snapped out of it just about the time I needed to start dinner.Forgetful of the entire messy event, I poached the fish for dinner, served it with a nice mango salsa. "Smells like

fish, I hate fish and the mango is touching and I want chocolate milk and can I have desert now?" One day, one hour, one minute, one second... at a time.