"Eat my shorts Martin! Hey, cut that out.

"Eat my shorts Martin! Hey, cut that out. No not with your canines. What if someone comes into the elevator! What if Mr. Van Buren walks in on this?"

Martin from "Martin," Martin van Buren and Martin Short were doing an improv sketch at the Groundling theater because

Steve Martin cancelled at the last minute, citing irreconcilable differences with his dry cleaner. The Jerk! Martin Short & Martin VanBuren were warming up backstage when

Martin Sheen and Martin Scorsese came in to sit down in the audience. Martin Short & Martin VanBuren were nervous

because there were way too many Martins in this room. Sheen and Scorsese stared over at Short and VanBuren, giving them a nod and a wink. "What's that suppose to mean?" asked Sho

Lin Ha, the foremost Chinese authority on men named Martin. The inter-Martin nod-and-wink was undocumented in the literature. Sheen, the perennial "Meanest Martin", mocked the tiny

Man who wore only grey and black. He wanted a meanie martini, right now. Could the Chinese man make it? If not, He would have to learn how!

The Chinese man pulled out a book of cocktails and flipped through it as the man in grey and black watched. Meanie Martini: Gin, vermouth, olive, onion, cherry, absinthe, tar,

rust, polyester and more absinthe. Shake until ice cold and serve up in a chilled martini glass. The man in grey and black wasn't impressed. "Wait .. " the Chinese man said, "I can

spice this up! Look over there!" He hurriedly pointed in the opposite direction, adding a healthy dose of shoe polish. Fun was briefly had by all. The funeral was cheap. Mazel tov.