"My name is not Little Johnny and you are

"My name is not Little Johnny and you are not going to give me an obedience shot," eight-year-old Brad informed the school nurse. He had already hacked his chip and was prepared to

run if that woman came at him again with that needle. He remembered Dad going on about it a few months ago: " It's unconstitutional! Take away a kid's right to say ' up yers!' "

The tea party convention had taken a strange twist down into childhood development.

Well it wasn't so strange. Maybe the healthiest development so far for the tea party convention. After naptime on their astroturf mats Michele Bachman started show-and-tell with

She was running for president at the time. Unfortunately, she didn't get any closer to the nomination than any of her rivals. This was four years ago. Bachmann did not give up.

The next time her face appeared on the Evening News Stephen King saw it & he snapped. No longer could he let Bachmann be used by that demon. He still had the contract. He could set

-tle it with just a phone call, but he still needed cash now. He called J.G. Wentworth, but the old codger just laughed at him sneeringly and hung up. Stephen King was going to hav

e a conniption fit when he found out! He broke out in a cold sweat, thinking about the real horror Stephen King would inflict if he couldn't come up with the dough. Next, he called

a bakery & begged them to start kneading.But he took too long. En route to pick up the dough, he encountered Pennywise, the Dancing Clown, who made him an offer he couldn't refuse.