My living room looks like the bottom of a

My living room looks like the bottom of a pool.The walls are swimming pool blue & a ripple glass skylight covers the ceiling. At the deep end lies an inflated young Dustin Hoffman

in scuba gear. The room made me think of just one word: plastics. I redecorated. Portholes & nautical junk made a good Orca. Inflatable shark, Scheider and Dreyfuss. I'd be Quint.

I moved on to recreate Gorillas in the Mist in the bedroom. I offered my date some pre-masticated mango & invited her into my 'nest' built on a wooden platform nailed to the wall.

Her large hairy Gorilla hands reached for mine and interlocked. Her grunty snuffley sounds made me sleepy . I woke to find all my mangoes and my kidneys gone. I was in an ice bath.

Magilla Gorilla from Manila was a guerilla follower of Godzilla and met Lobsterman for pizza. They ordered double pepperoni. The server, a gnome, said, "Are you sure? Its spoiled!'

"Spoiled, rawwwwr. We love a good rancid pie!", shrieked Lobsterman, who as you can imagine, was ready for toppings that didn't include any of his relatives.

Lobsterman was disappointed by the rancid pie. "Where's the rancid?" This was something no baker liked to hear asked about their rancid pie. For it to be Lobsterman who asked, was

a little bit better than anyone else, but still. I decided to turn this into a wisdom lesson and told him to wait for the rancid to come. For it was his own fault for being unwise.

"Will there be angels when the rancid comes?" he asked me stupidly. Poor lamb. "Yes," I said, "there will be angels to bring you gold and precious stones to make it all better."

I sniffed. The time had come. "Hush little baby," I cooed, rocking him until his eyes closed. He grasped my hand with tender innocence & suddenly it was over. And then began again.