I woke up and realized that this wasnt my

I woke up and realized that this wasnt my own bed. What am i doing. I tried to talk but all i could say was: DEEZ NUTZ. at that moment i realised i was infected with Deeznuteritis

I snapped out of it and shook my head. Gosh, what a weird dream. I quickly tried to get out of bed, but I couldnt move my legs..nor my arms

My eyes scanned my room, trying to see if I could see anything... well, odd. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, but that smell! It almost made me pass out. That smell...

It was a combination of old people's smell and bananas, gross. I wrecked my brains over what it could be. Had I left the...

the...OMG...as I turned the corner I now saw what it was! Uh, wait... I took a step closer. The stench! OMG, the STENCH! No, it couldn't be!! It wasn't...UGH! I needed a picture!

I turned and grabbed a statistician I found handy and threw her through the carnal wormhole to appease the Old Ones, momentarily. Hopefully long enough to reconcoct all Existence.

I had grabbed the statistician's car keys before I sacrificed her so I had a Prius that stank of Waffle House scattered, chunked, diced, capped, smothered and covered vomit to get

The skunk odour out. This was no laughing matter because I sold the car quietly to escape the odour police. They followed me until I ditched the Prius for a Saab. This was really a

mistake, since the Saab's gas mileage stank worse than the skunk odor had. I bought every air freshener I could find at the next gas station and hung it from my clothing, but