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Have you ever seen something so horrific,

  • Have you ever seen something so horrific, so abhorrent to nature that your brain had to erase all memory of it after the fact just so you could go on living? Once you hear my story

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  • you'll understand why I burned the master copy of Atlas Shrugged. Even leaving aside the abhorrent philosophy, the writing was turgid enough to warrant the fire. The heist began

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  • with us running dramatically towards the sunset, knowing that if we moved quickly enough we could catch the sneaky bugger before it ran off to hide behind the horizon once more.

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  • When we got to the horizon we realized it was a taupalin painted to look like beach, ocean and clouds and the sun was a large spotlight.

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  • "See, we ARE just images in a movie!" Chuck exclaimed. "Just like that Woody Allen thing." I still wasn't ready to accept that. I think therefore I am, and all that. "Chuck, we

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  • have to step back. If we are just cartoon characters, Chuck, I could hit you with this over-sized mallet and you would just see little birds and stars." To illustrate, I swung

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  • the mallet at Chuck, but an Acme crate landed on me. This being a cartoon, I was covered in phallic-ish lumps and X-shaped bandages. When I peered into the crate, I saw

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  • bugs bunny having a seizure, he grabbed the

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  • grabber thing over the passenger side window and yelled "wheeee" but Mort karate chopped him in the throat and said, "we're not even moving yet." and

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  • after that, Mort realized what an idiot his fellow passenger was. His lifelong belief in eugenics was challenged by this realization about his best friend, and he grew as a person.

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