He looked at her and whispered, "Let's bob

He looked at her and whispered, "Let's bob for apples, shall we?"

Drak winked at Vampirella. He meant Adam's apples. The Frat party was ideal hunting ground. Vampirella said "Bobs mine." She took off her top and jumped into the pool to cat calls

and the started screaming. Someone had thrown tons of garlic into the pool. Smoke. Bubbles. Vampirella screamed and her skin hissed. Drak looked over his shoulder, a giant cross

-stitched picture of TeenWolf hung on the wall. "Ambush!" yelled Drak. Vampirella pulled her charred, smoking body from the garlic pool as a net dropped and the sun began to rise.

Stephenie Meyer, peeking from the corner of a nearby tree, was turned on by what she saw. Quickly, she wrote down her sights in a notebook with a rather sticky pencil.

This was to become the infamous Twilight series of books, which I found insufferably Gothic. If I read anything like that, I like more intellectual writers. But she loved vampires.

"You keep saying you hate Twilight, so why do you have a Team Jacob tattoo sleeve?" she accused. (She was unequivocally Team Ed). I was insulted. My werewolf ink was a symbol of

my incurable OCD. If I did not have an image of a werewolf (no matter how stupid!) on my person then I...I...I...agh... just thinking of the dire consequences makes me shudder.

The werewolf picked me up by my ankle and shook me strenuously to see if I had his picture or not. My broken heart fell out of my pocket but he unintentionally stomped it into the

ground. When he realized I didn't have it, he dropped me and began howling into the moonlight: "I will never love again!" Moments later, he disappeared over the hill.