As I lay here dying in this dark and dismal

As I lay here dying in this dark and dismal room, I can't help but recollect the events that brought me here. I should have known never to trust Cassandra with the necklace.

The locket. It contained the secret recipe to Grandma Bagg's corn pudding. In the spirit of the holiday, I foolishly showed Cassandra the necklace, thinking she would just copy

the way her mom acted when I showed her Grandma Bagg's corn pudding recipe. But my thinking was flawed, so flawed. Cassandra was a tactile learner, so, you know what that means.

Her hands were all over my grandma's recipe book, rubbing the thin sheets of paper between her learning fingers. I'm an auditory communicator so I yelled, "Oi! Cassandra! No!"

Cassandra looked up from the cookbook, irritated. "Listen, books were meant to be read. I know it was your grandma's, but surely she would have wanted someone to

cook her as she intended. It's her last will & testament. She wrote garnish with pepper corns marinate in brandy & flambé. Its true to your grandma's character & kind of like crema

Tion, only it won't cost you $2,000. She did her research and found the Cremation Society charged $2,000 for a onetime fee, payable upon death. She designated her favourite brandy

be served at her cremation to everybody there except Stewart. She explained that she had suspected that the twin that died was really Stewart & that this Stewart was really Vicki.

story is over, Fatso." The portly gentleman was taken aback. "I'm sorry," she told him, "I was upset. I shouldn't have called you Fatso." He replied "No, you see, I'm Stewart."