She stared at the blank page in front of

She stared at the blank page in front of her. Blank and empty. Just like her mind. "I need 10 pages by tomorrow!" she thought. Desperate, she picked up

a piano and threw it out of her 6th floor apartment window. Whenever she was stressed, i.e. this insufferable paper deadline, she gained super strength. Dashing to the window, she

looked down out the window and saw the destruction she had wrought. The piano had crushed a food stand on the sidewalk, and the hapless seller was looking up at her, shaking his fi

sts of wieners and shouting, "I am the Tube Steak King! Bunless ye are born, and bunless ye shall die!" That sounded threatening so she threw a CRT monitor down at him and nearly

hit his head. The monitor broke open and out exploded a litter of unicorns that blew fire. The unicorns flew away, carrying their buns with them. The people shall remain bunless.

The great bun famine of 1129 was terrible. People were forced to eat their bread in loaves, before the invention of sliced bread! Damn fire-breathing, time-travelling unicorns!

If the unicorns had been inclined to help rather than hinder, they could have sliced the loaves with their horns. A knight named Sir Bran threatened to get medieval on their ashes

but that only angered the unicorns. They ran Sir Bran through and stampeded over the loaves, flattening them into paper-thin sheets. The townspeople took these sheets and

gingerbread porn. That pretty much ruined it for everybody.