Tammy was too tired to sleep...she hadn't

Tammy was too tired to sleep...she hadn't had more than a few hours over the past eight days. Her room was littered with No Doze boxes and empty pill bottles once filled with

various medications from untrustworthy sources. It didn't matter, because Tammy had to stay awake. Sleep didn't matter, not when everything was at stake.

than Tammy. She put on her superhero cape and flew outside. Upon arriving at the first house, she went down the chimney and immediately to the computer. She folded a story and then

stammered lamely to the cops, who cuffed her for b&e:"This is pure bs! Don't you see I'm wearing a cape? & a chimney is always open & requires no breaking. Wait til Super Tammy fin

ds out her cape is ripped. What? You thought it was mine? Ha, 'course not." Her attempts to bargain with the cops fell flat, as did the loot she dropped down the chimney.

"Nice try, honey." One of the coppers yells up at her. "Why don't you try showin' a little leg next time." She frowns and yells, "And why don't you try dropping dead next time, Pig

Face McDoodleButt?" The man looked taken aback. She grinned and subtly fist-pumped out of his sight. "Nailed it." Satisfied with her sick burn, she left the scene for the nearest

Waffle House for some comfort food, for it had been quite a harrowing day. "Yes, scattered, smothered, covered, & chunked," she told the waitress. Out of the corner of her eye, she

kept an eye for Kim Jun. It was the fervent hope of the Waffle House crew that he come and try their spicy fish waffle Gogigyeopbbang. If Dear Leader enjoyed it, they were golden.