The squirrel had been hatching his plan for

The squirrel had been hatching his plan for weeks. He had eaten his last pinecone on Tuesday. He was now strictly a carnivore. And why not? The apartment complex was full of meat.

The cattle walked back and forth between the giant huts they'd constructed, but their tender flesh was exposed in the summer. Carnisquirrel imagined a delicate sauce and their ears

of corn buttered in it. The roast beef was splayed across the table. Martha took her fork and

stabbed his freshly shorn scrotum for popping up in the most inappropriate places. He winced in pain and offered her the fried tofu instead. She assented to the substitution and

make her pop chuzzles out her nostrils. Big, colored, fuzzy, squeaky chuzzles. They would float around and

make strange discolorations where they landed. Bright shapes slowly expanded on the slowly lapping waters of the San Francisco Bay. She would never allow that to happen again.

The Cristo' jellyfish installation on the Golden Gate was a hit with tourists but the plastic tarps weren't properly fastened & had suffocated many terns. The Anticristos vowed

to do a improv mob protest at his next event. But they had the GPS wrong and ended up doing a zombie dead-in at Chase Field. Cristo went North and wrapped pink plastic on

a broomstick. There was an MTV exec in the crowd when he did his now infamous fake penis skit and that's the true story of how Cristo was discovered. True genius will always shine.