I miss my cat so much.

I miss my cat so much.

Her soft, sweet-smelling fur and the way she cuddled up to me. She was the most gentle creature I'd ever loved.

She was pink and smelled of cake frosting, reminding me of birthday bliss, but she was rather a heavy creature, being an equine and all. Now, if only I knew how to speak pony.

But neigh, I did not. I'd have to find another way to communicate with this glorious pink equus. She shook her mane & stared into my unblinking eyes. Her cake-scented breath

made me instantly hungry even though I was still full from a lunch of condensed milk and moon pies. The Pink Equus's mane was composed of cookie sprinkles and its hooves were

Covered with fairy dust in about six colours. She was Mr. Ed's offspring, and talked like her famous father.

She was perfect. I walked up to the fairy horse girl and introduced myself, she whinnied in reply. We've been dating for 6 months.

Everything has been perfect, except for a few warbles that have erupted from my skin. The fairy horse girl and I have talked about marriage, but her mother, the horse-faced woman,

insisted that I have a million dollars & red 60's lunch box engraved with free love on beforewe could marry. The fairy horse girl stroking my warbling skin whispered lets elope

I turned to her with love in my eyes. "Fair horse girl, I'd do anything for you, but I'm deathly allergic to elopement, and I don't own any lunchboxes." She dumped me on the spot.