45

"I won't be friends," Fred said. "I will

  • "I won't be friends," Fred said. "I will deal with your psycho Burmese stalker, but on the condition that you agree to be my girlfriend." Clare looked at him and
  • all of a sudden Fred felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Hadn't he said this twice before? Was he wigging out from quitting non-filter Camels cold turkey 41 minutes ago? Clare
  • , his secretary at Bedrock Enterprises, kept repeating the same thing. Everymorning Fred got up, Wilma said the same thing, Barney. It was Rockhound Day.
  • The alarm went off. Clare looked at him. "I won't be friends," Fred said. "I will deal with your psycho Burmese stalker, but on the condition that you agree to be my girlfriend."
  • Clare muted her alarm. She feared the stalker more than Fred, so she agreed to Fred's terms. "So what does being your girlfriend, um, entail exactly?" Clare asked. Fred smiled
  • "Being my girlfriend means that you occasionally have to braid my back hair without complaining, oh and occasionally make me marmalade sandwiches" Clare shuddered "..back hair?"
  • "Yeah, you know. And I also have this rash. I mean, it's not horrible or anything, but it covers 80% of my body. It requires a special ointment to be applied 4 times daily.
  • It was a weird feeling to talk about the rash. Mother raised me to be ashamed of my body, and for most of my life dressed me in clothes that covered me from my head to my toes
  • to keep away the sun. I forgot once while at boarding school. Welts covered most of my skin. I was worried & went to the dispensary. Nurse Betty, the blonde asked me to disrobe!
  • I insistently told her that no, I would not remove my garments, and she got very annoyed with me, but I figure she don't get the ones on my arms, she don't get the others, too.
Started
2013-02-23 17:32:35
Finished
2014-06-09 22:23:07

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Jun 10 2014 @ 09:48

    I managed to submit this first line 3 times which is what people are going on about. This is the first one finished. Two more to go...
  2. Avatar

    m80 Jun 11 2014 @ 23:00

    Here they are if someone would please finish! :-) http://foldingstory.com/svwe71/ http://foldingstory.com/svwe72/
  3. Avatar

    lucielucie Jun 12 2014 @ 15:34

    Thanks m80 - I'm planning on calling them 'The Burmese Stalker Chronicles' or something.
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 12 2014 @ 17:03

    'The Burmese Stalker Trilogy'?
  5. Avatar

    Zetawilk Jun 13 2014 @ 00:05

    Reminds me when, for a gag, even though I'm against the notion of April Fool's Day, I deliberately started three stories with the same "deja vu" tagline. The "Burmese stalker" has a better hook to it, I think. If that Burma Shave guy ever catches up to her and cuts her beard off, she'll never be able to work the carnivals for weeks!

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