i was at the store and

i was at the store and

some kid tried to mug me, so i punched him and the paramedics had to get him. So later that day when i was

munching on a pizza, I realized that i missed my appointment to the doctor. I quickly ran to my...

took out a tire iron and smashed the window. I tore out the deployed side air bag and hot wired it. Yes, it was my own car, but I wasn't going back to that dive for my keys.

I collapsed down the titanium tire iron and put it in my pocket.Handy tool I'd picked up during my F1 pitcrew years.I hit the gas & ran over the bartender who'd run out with my key

lime pie. Whoops, didn't mean to kill him before I got my desert. I would feel bad, But I'm a member of a pit crew. We don't have feelings, just exhaust. I mashed the pedal

hard to the floor of the truck. Three pit crew buddies were with me and yelling at me to go faster. The cops would be on our tail in seconds, but we had put more horsepower

in our riding lawnmowers that we had the truck."Quick! Get on my Lawnboy!" Me and my pit crew buddies smoked it then, our mouths flapping in the wind, yelling back at the cops, "

You can't catch us, neener neener." It all went awry when our slow-ass coach failed to make the cinematic jump through the billboard. I ended up in hospital, they're still dead.