"Oh, look luvy an ice berg!" The rake tipped

"Oh, look luvy an ice berg!" The rake tipped back his martini glasss and nearly stumbled overboard. "Let's ask the captain to get closer so we can put these drinks of the rocks."

The Cap, who'd obtained his licence in the Mail order Naval Academy "Ship shape in a Fortnight" obliged them & ended up on the iceberg together with Luvy, the rake & a polar bear.

The polar bear had an abundant supply of Coca cola, so although they were stranded on an Iceberg, they had an awesome house party, Luvy and The Rake met penguins who had

done a few wild things in their college years. Laughing about iceberg keg-stands, Luvy and The Rake downed more and more fish vodka, eventually becoming drunk enough to

dispense with their feigned indignation and unabashedly relent to their latent proclivities toward unprotected fornication. Nine months later

, they were still at it. Relentless, I told you! "I'm starting to get a little tired," she said, grabbing a quick sip of merlot as they shifted positions once again."Aren't you

also weary of Merlot? Why don't we expand our wine horizons and venture into the daring waters of Burgundy, Chablis, Pinot Noir, or -- dare I say it -- Riesling?" "Oh, shut up," he

said, and pulled out, from his windbreaker pocket, the ultimate in all high-class alcoholic beverage: A box of fermented Hi-C Ectocooler. This was the sommelier arc of the covenant

"Wheeee! I'm a helicopter!" he screamed, whirling around faster & faster, getting closer to the edge of the balcony. Teetering...a step back...then he threw himself into the sky.