Welcome to Planet Xog earthlings. As you

Welcome to Planet Xog earthlings. As you can see from our appearance we are very much like you apart from the extra head and the foot sticking out of our ears....pardon???

We from Xog find it infuriating when you point your hand toes at us! We would like to eat you, but you are much to large for our belly button mouths. Prepare to

be mounted. We from Xog will lay our eggs in your rear belly button mouth. In six days these eggs will hatch and you may feel some minor discomfort as dozens of our larvae absorb

gums. They gorge on the tender pinkness. It looks like your mouth is full of shag carpet fibers with spiral teeth. Urea is deposited in your canines before they

even start to bark. By now your mouth is beyond the curatives of any dentist, and the only option is a good carpet cleaner and possibly a stain remover. It makes kissing very

challenging, especially if the kissee is trying to break free and using all her strength to push you away. I always lure them in my basement and tie them up. Anyway, my teeth were

growing now, pushing from my gums and cutting a little into my lips as I felt the hunger grow in me. I needed to feed, needed to feel the flush of life that came from

that." Thinking quickly, I shoved two stalks up my cheeks. "Look, I'm a walrus, ark! ark!" My performance art bamboozled the clerk and I went on produce pilfering.

My criminal career came to a quick end after screaming Coo Coo CaChoo! at the butcher who promptly landed a cleaver 'tween my walrushish eyebrows. The EggMan is still at large...