Well, I for one nominate that we flood this

Well, I for one nominate that we flood this new Orwellian Cispanet with so much degenerate, offensive filth that it makes Tom Green blush & those thought-nazis consider a repeal.

At last they stopped laughing cos eating bananas for 40 days were making them go bananas. We must look for some other fruit, they said. Or maybe manna or something. We're sick of

wandering around the jungle like this. The Manford Manly Voice was displeased with their complaints. So he made them evolve into humans, forcing them to walk upright and eat

microwave dinners from Trader Joe's. While perhaps the best of all possible instant entrees, these meals were still processed and embarrassing. Manford Manly Voice himself enjoyed

Organic gardening and cooking vegetarian. Manford Manly Voice went to Trader Joe 's and bought himself granola with pomeganates and blueberries, as a reward for being a good boy.

Vanessa Conquest was happy to be rid of the other board members of ConCorp. She nearly imagined herself polishing the conference-room table with Lemon Pledge. As if.

What she wasn't expecting was where all the other board members would end up.

She finally found them, all playing "sardines" down in the snack room closet. Their faces were orange with Cheetos crumbs, their nice suits ruined. "What's a chairman to do?" she

asked as if their brains could still cognate complete sentences. The corporate experiment had failed, turning their top execs into children. But the nap times were a huge success