Jody couldn't believe it himself. "Primer"

  • Jody couldn't believe it himself. "Primer" was fiction, but this was fact. In the summer of 2013, in a garage in Arlington, Texas, he had invented the warp drive. The Secessionists

  • marched into government buildings and formed a provisional government. The citizens of Arlington,Texas demanded the warp drive be used to provide new public transport

  • of jack daniels and wintergreen grizzly long cut moistened snuff. Once the citizens of Arlington, Texas got the warp drive, commander Riker engaged his final solution. He raised

  • the freshly packed snapper to his lips, pulled it through the 3-footer, then before exhaling packed both an upper and a lower chew and did a shot of jack. Riker yelled "Warp speed!

  • Westley unintendedly launched a photon torpedo towards Bedford Centauri instead.The bridge went deathly quiet as the crew considered what had just happened. The a redshirt started

  • A campaign to. unseat the judicial review board started by his grandmother. Grandma had nominated Westley and he was elected to be a top Freemason at age 72. This was unpecedented

  • Westley decided their time had come. No more secrecy. Everyone knew the masons planned world domination anyway, so why not show their hand? Westley made Grandma his grand martial.

  • Grandma immediately used her new powers to declare Westley the King of the Beasts. Now Westley could command various deer and squirrels to do his greedy bidding.

  • Westley had a brief coronation, in which grandma presented him with a crown of acorns and a sceptre of twigs. He was now officially king of the beasts. His first command was...

  • Kill All Humans! But the beasts were more interested in eating the acorns off his crown. Westley realized then and there that he was the king of the unconquerable, and was proud.



  1. BlastedHeath Dec 01 2016 @ 22:05

    "Bedford Centauri" HAHAHA! For a short while in my youth I lived in the HEB district.

  2. LordVacuity Dec 02 2016 @ 00:58


  3. LordVacuity Dec 02 2016 @ 01:01

    Doh! My sister lives in Bedford but you must remember that I had no idea the story began in Arlington. I was actually making a The Bedford Incident reference.

  4. BlastedHeath Dec 02 2016 @ 07:52

    ... and I had to Google "The Bedford Incident" ;-)

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