He was jobless and he hadn't eaten for two

He was jobless and he hadn't eaten for two days. He found this shiny coin on the road but he decided not to use it and to keep it instead, for good luck. He went back home and

was suddenly attacked by Ninjas with Jetpacks!

But this rhetorical questions was shredded to ribbons by the ninjas with jet-packs. Then came a battalion of rednecks with shotguns and they started blasting away at the

rhetorical questions who were already badly wounded from the ninja strike. "We don't like no rhe-tor-cal questions down here." A stray blast clipped one of the hovering ninjas who

was just in the process of aiming a high kick in combination with a triple axle. He was split neatly in half lengthwise. The other ninja however was able to finish his death star

and hurl it Whether the ninja's aim was true or not, he committed seppuku then and there. Goddamn ninjas. It didn't matter the ninjastar even hit the guy who was split in half.

Once authorities arrived the ninjas were long gone, but they didn't leave without a trace, namely DNA from an unfinished piece of banana bread.

Using DNA analysis and carbon dating or whatever to find the real identity of the ninjas, they discovered a chilling fact: that the DNA traces were all from the police officers

But what could they do? They'd dug themselves into a conspiracy that was too deep for them to expose. Rumour has it they're still searching for justice to this day.