one day, as I looked outside my window, I

one day, as I looked outside my window, I saw a UFO. I was so scared I

wouldn't get abducted. I'd been looking for a way out of Alabama and this was my best shot. "Take me like you took Hendrix!" I pleaded. The UFO stopped. I started to rise, but then

the UFO dropped me. The fall nearly broke my slow hand. The UFO telepathically said, "We took Hendrix because he could really play. You're only alright." But I am Clapton I

am best at clapping. The UFO with bad taste then swirled through the night sky and started pirating cable, sapping the signals to Glee, Sex and the City, and Adult Swim. I clapped.

Bros. Sweepstakes Roadrally edition was the Robomododobomobile. I keyed in the cheat code and pressed the Robomobodobomobiles anti-Arch-Alien sidewinder release. Cpn.Xanaxahandjob

and his Russian counterpart Heckleshev Kreckelnamebrandvodkaheilernimben could do nothing but hope- and fire heat seeking missiles from the Robomododobomobile's auxillary space-

hammered down on the town like falling asteroids from space. Heckleshev quickly hurried his family into what seemed to be the safest location. But in the morning, all he could find

were the remains of his hot dog. He screamed "NOOOOO!" His wife and children dug themselves from the rubble, they found Heckeshev in a hysterical state, crying and moaning. What

happened next was never documented, as the camcorder finally dies. Conspiracy theorist speculate it was all staged by the government, and Heckeshev was further expeirmented on.