This Christmas, I asked myself a very important

  • This Christmas, I asked myself a very important question: "Has anything about me changed? Why do I still hate the world? And where's the turkey?" But this time, it'll be different.

  • I will eat Cornish hens instead,my cats sitting next to me at the dinner table. They don't need forks and knives. Less cleanup on my part.

  • Plus, with Uncle Lenny's colostomy bag right there next to me, I could deposit any other collected meal detritus directly into there, thus saving the typical hassles affiliated

  • with the bank deposit bags I had ben using, which tended to seep. I put the bag in my bicycle basket and pedaled down the road, followed closely by a flock of crows who kept

  • crowing and following me. All of a sudden I saw a huge rock in the road. I tried to avoid it but it was inevitable. BAM! I landed right on my face and slid for at least 3 feet. I

  • stood up. Other than a scrape down one side of my face, I appeared to be ok. But where was I? And what had happened to the crowd following me? My wallet was still there but was m

  • issing the $600 dollars I had placed in it. Without my money, I had no way of returning home. Not that money would have helped, considering I appeared to be in an entirely differen

  • t world. I shivered when I realised what had happened. This happened in the movies - the hero would help an unassuming person, and then they would be thrown into another dimension!

  • Since I already knew the ending I quickly ran into my apartment, grabbed a lawn chair and a six pack of beer. I settled down in my front lawn and watch as the hero began to help.

  • I had never seen someone squeeze toothpaste from a bottle so effortlessly, but the Hero did it, saving Dona's mourning routine three seconds. There WAS still good in this world.



  1. Jesrin Dec 07 2016 @ 19:17

    I will never forgive myself for misspelling "morning."

  2. 49erFaithful Dec 08 2016 @ 10:52

    If you give us 20 pushups and correct three dangling modifiers, we'll call it even. :-)

  3. Woab Dec 08 2016 @ 11:18

    I dunno, I'm kind of intrigued by what a mourning routine might be. 1) Light the votive candle. 2) rend clothing...

  4. SlimWhitman Dec 10 2016 @ 09:20

    Yes, I thought it was intentional - I mean as intentional as a thing can be in a foldingstory - and it's cool how the story starts with the protagonist questioning the world and ends with the discovery that there was some good in it, so kudos on your finish!

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