He should have masturbated while she was

He should have masturbated while she was out today. He could of found some internet "strange." But she might want to actually do it later, and now it was late and there would be

Jesus loves those two hooks on the back of a hammer, but the Awful Waffle also harvested the most rancid of hayseed townies imaginable. To them, he was "visitor from planet psycho"

& Martha Stewart rolled into one intolerably opinionated hick. Jesus is also fond of puppy tracks in fresh cement, with little bits of their fur

part of the pavement as a reminder to be patient before entering new terrain. Man's best friend however couldnt be Jesus's pet since Jesus wanted followers and not a mere friend.

But Rover would not be deterred. He loved Jesus, and followed Him up to thje Mount on Sermon Day. But he didn't endear himself when he ate all the bread and fishes. The crowd left,

unsated that day. Jesus tried to drive demons out of Rover, but Rover wasn't possessed. Licking their balls was just a thing dogs did. But Rover proved his dogged devotion the day

by continuously trying to lick Jesus's balls. Rover wouldn't quit so finally Jesus squatted down and let Rover lick his balls. Someday we'll have to tell Rover he's not a real dog.

Jesus never minded, of course. Once you've risen from the dead, having your balls licked by a dog who's not really a dog is pretty tame. The Messiah took it in stride.

Hell, he knew he was gonna go out anyway so he did it in style, Crossed to a giant cross. Ironically thats became the symbol that represented him, the thing that killed him