"Hey, d'you wanna hear a joke?" said the

"Hey, d'you wanna hear a joke?" said the excitable middle aged man. "I made it up myself.". "Sure." I said. "Okay!" He coughed. "What did one olive say to the other olive?".

"Green or black olives?" I interrupted. "Doesn't matter, now what did the one olive say to...""Where they in a jar or can?" "CAN! DOESN'T MATTER, now listen...""Imported?"

All I deal with are Olive nitwits. Fools who care about the most irrelevant details about olives. Surrounded by ignorance I lose myself in Olivity. The most important thing to

do was educate these people about other cocktail fixins. Celery sticks? Little umbrellas? Pineapple tops? The world is your olive, er...oyster here. Olives are gross, they look

and large and needed to stay wet so their skin wouldn't dry out. What a challenge finding rubber pants was in Brazil protecting them and providing stretch

Any time I find myself in a Brazilian rubber pants predicament, I know there is one person I can count on, but with such short notice and I even doubt his miracle working skills

with the massage oils. I heard once that toothpaste and bananas could make sense in this situation because

every good banana knows that if you bookend your days with brushing your teeth (fangies), that's two points to having a handle on the day! The massage oils spilled now, spelling

the words "YOU SUCK" in ghostly traces on the bathroom floor. And that's when I knew I'd hit the bong just a little too hard.