I looked upon my bedroom wall, never had

I looked upon my bedroom wall, never had I seen so many shadows dancing on it. N object in my room could cast such terrific things. I covered my eyes with my blanket but something

, someone was beside me, I could feel it! He was whispering scary stories in my ear that soothed me to sleep. Every night after that I could hear the whispers from the shadow

who eventually brainwashed me into attending church services. The first week I was thrown out for wearing 'inappropriate clothes' and the second week I was struck by lightening whi

seeping boils. They cleared right up, but the priest was hopping mad about it. So I told him that I was christening my boils at the font and he felt much better and lent me a hand.

The hand he offered had been found in the Poverty box. I thanked him & asked if he could put it into the baptismal & then slap my boils with it. "Oh yes", he said enthusiastically.

It seemed delicious, his eyes grew wide; he was salivating. The music in my head swelled to a crescendo and my clothes felt tight

. I tore them off, much to his delight. He was out and out panting now, watching me prancing, dancing to the beat of a different drum. Gyrating around his stupified face, I threw

Some key lime pie as I sang "When I win the lottery". Then the iceman arrived and said, "you rang?* I had accidentally dialed M for Murder. Sure enough, the club manager

clubbed me to death, but at least I would never again have to pay a cover charge. I could just waft into the club and nobody could stop me. Always look on the bright side!