"It's quiet... too quiet." he said as he

"It's quiet... too quiet." he said as he tripped over the cat.

"Hey, watch it wouldja?" said the cat. He realized he'd gone deaf could only hear the cat's thoughts. "Phone's ringing" said the cat. He said hello & put the phone to the cat's ear

"It's the shop-at-home folks. They say veggies are all out. Only fish. Meerooww!" "I realized I was at my cat's mercy. But decided better a hearing ear cat than a seeing eye dog

The sad part of it is the DAMN cat hates tuna. Wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot paw. Chicken...that's all the bastard will eat. So, while I'm wiping the dog shit from my shoe to

give to someone as quite a nice gift later, I'm yelling at the garbage man to get off the roof. My stupid cat can't stand milk either. It'll have beer and nothing else! Stupidly

I gave the cat my credit card so that it could go buy it's own beer. Somehow, I forgot that the cat didn't know how to use credit cards or how to buy beer or that nobody would sell

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

But 200 lasagnas for a cat was $12747337948747... I was in debt because a cat stole my credit card...

Still can't believe the bank didn't flag out the 2000 fishes that maxed out my credit card... hundred thousand for each one of these (most definitely) delectable japanese tuna fish