50

"Get the fuck out of my office!" screamed

  • "Get the fuck out of my office!" screamed the executive. Ted stepped in. "Charlie, calm down." "Fuck you Ted, this asshole is pitching me a show about a UFO that's an egg?"
  • "Cosmic Egg is a cool title." "Yeah, but the pitchman said it's a show about 'The Yolkian aliens, who help death roe inmates look on the sunny side.' I can't cope with the puns."
  • "Man he was just egging you on." "True that but I think it is really all just a shell game." "I won't give any financial backing until they see the whites of my eyes." He rolled
  • the edge of the omelet over onto itself and sprinkled some cheese. "Eggcelent Smithers, eggcelent". A chicken walked into the kitchen smoking a cigarette and wearing only jockeys.
  • "Damn it," he said, "Did that idiot put all my eggs in one basket again?" Smithers blanched, "Uh, sorry, sir, I thought..." "The chicken frowned. "Beat it, okay? I'll make my own
  • Omelet." Clara the cannibalistic chicken clucked to herself as she stirred together the eggs, pepper,chilis and a dash of chopped cilantro. "Smithers, next time I want my eggs
  • unfertilized," she said with a cluck. Clara was a finicky hen, a trait she poached from music videos on MTV in the 80s. It was the Reagan Era then and that meant eggs were to be
  • checked for any liberal traits. By candling the egg before hatched, these traits were discovered. Daisy, her friend, laid the most exotic brown eggs around. But, they were suspect
  • of fowl play...the use of illegal chicken steroids to be exact...because when they peered into Daisy's brown eggs, it was apparent that her chicks were left-wing extremists.
  • This was all the father's fault, she thought. She decided to exact revenge by electing one of his candidates, then having her senators & congressmen tie his wings behind his back.
Started
2011-06-23 20:36:01
Finished
2013-08-02 12:24:54

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Aug 02 2013 @ 12:26

    That last yolk's on us.
  2. Avatar

    Davodd Aug 02 2013 @ 20:07

    This one turned out sunny side up.
  3. Avatar

    Davodd Aug 02 2013 @ 20:08

    It went from foul to fowl language.
  4. Avatar

    PurpleProf Aug 02 2013 @ 21:30

    Scrambled...but it cracked me up!
  5. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 03 2013 @ 09:23

    AA quality story. Brings back some fond memories of this... http://foldingstory.com/owq1o/

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