Lucy Goosey lived on the far side of town,

Lucy Goosey lived on the far side of town, where she made a modest living selling sundries and whatnots. One day a large white truck pulled up in front of her shop and two guys in

Ninja suits jumped out the back of the truck, wielding ninja swords. "Goose Lucy, you in big trouble now. Sundries and whatsnots made in china! You must pay Royalties!" Shocked,

I didn't really know what 2 do. I brought my magic-fairy wand 2 a sword fight. As embarrassed as that is, I took the magic-fairy wand and said the magic words UNICORNGLITTERYBUNBUN

When that didn't work, I tried adding "FUZZYRAINBOWSOCKDRAWERWHOOPIECUSHION!" Still nothing. Man, Hogwarts was brutal.

No one at Hogwarts had a sense of humor. The funny died there. The funny died when Harry and finally told the truth. No spell no magic could undo the truth.

Harry went on to be a psychotherapist, whose cats played - making clients laugh more than his rivals. he called it "cat therapy".

Harry happily recalled visits to a local cat cafe where he used to sit & drink tea while nearby cats napped & played. Starting his own cat therapy practice seemed like the purrfect

But these cats were different from the ones she loved. Very different. For one thing they spoke. Not meow that sounds like cow but vulgar words in plain english. The Tabby said

something very, very naughty indeed, which I shan't honor with revealing at this time. Suffice to say it'd get you kicked out of finishing school, and you'd be finished. Finished!