The stinkbugs are coming! The stinkbugs are

The stinkbugs are coming! The stinkbugs are coming!

Little PT Barnum carried a flag through the neighborhood to attract the other kids to his fantastic Insect Circus. He had a Tarantula Tamer and Stink Bugs that

were clearly bad ideas, but not so much as the crazy brown recluse that bit fifteen kids. P.T. Barnum didn't stop to consider his childhood insect circus was murder. He had an ego.

The union ladybugs ran a picket line, but kid Barnum clipped their wings and forced them to vend glow sticks. An especially Zenned-out grasshopper lit itself on fire. Insect Circus

then took the stage to a different venue where they performed their seminal hit, Maladies for Bad Ladies & Their Laddies. The Pentecostal congregation put down their snakes and

the snakes' eyes filled with tears, as they had never been put down like that before. "Why do you hate us? Are we not all Gawd's critters?" Tommy Copperhead asked the preacher.

Preacher Prune adjusted his double monacle & opened his massive lectern. "It says here under Genesis clause 2 section IV that "feeding a naked woman an apple is a capital offense."

On cue, the whole congregation whipped out their (garden) hoes & began to mutilate the snakes. "For God! For Jesus! For our sons & daughters!" they chanted in unison. Not my style.

I grabbed a fistful of cinnamon from the altar on my way out the door in case I needed to blow it in the eyes of any following assailants. If it would just have been nutmeg, I w

ould have megged their nuts like nobody's business. As I swung over the sacrificial pit one handed, the vanilla vine ripped and I fell. The last thing I saw was a giant pestle.