I'm getting ready to go back into the hospital

I'm getting ready to go back into the hospital for another surgery. So, if for any reason I don't make it out alive, I just want to say that I've left you all something in my will.

If I don't pull through my rhinoplasty, I give all my National Geographics to my son; for my neighbor, his nose trimmer back; and to my niece, 'Boy with Apple.'

"Are you quite through, sir?" "Yes, I suppose I am." They wheeled me in. When I woke up, it took a minute to get my bearings. Then I said "OK! Lets have a look at my new horn!"

A PACU nurse reached out and lightly tapped my bulb. "HONK!" was the response. "Wow, that's pretty impressive." The nurse blushed and said, "Ahem. Well if you're not too tired,

I'd like for you to cover for me because I have a hot date tonight. " The PACU nurse handed me a clipboard and a stethescope. I was a clown. A Patient. Now I'm on duty? Jesus.

Then I felt like my father must have a century ago, in 1914. There were no clipboards then.

Because clipboards mean notetaking, with some backbone to it, and notetaking means organization, and THAT my dear class means... well, what DOES it mean?

All around the classroom, hands shot up. "Understanding?" said Suzy. "Mental Illness?" guessed Pat. "UNICEF?" guessed Leopold. The teacher looked at them sternly. "No," he said,

"Its the Illuminati. I'm very dissapointed with all of you. Extra homework!!!" and he slammed 32 sheets of paper on everyone's desk. It was a report on the history of the shoelace