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Ernest Hemingway sat quietly on the shores

  • Ernest Hemingway sat quietly on the shores of a trout stream in southern Idaho. Everything he saw was delivered to his brain clipped and terse. The water was blue. The fish

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  • swam by laughing at Hemingway, seeming to say, "Who said? Who said? There is a reason this sport is not called catching, said

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  • the bottle to Hemingway. Papa snarled at the bottle, "That'll be enough of that bullshit." He swigged mightily on the rum. Then something struck his line. It was the biggest

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  • mistake in his life when he dropped the rum bottle & grabbed hold of the line. Usually Pa would have finished his tug on the bottle. He was yanked into the water by a 9 ft crock

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  • . I desperately tried to pull the air boat in reverse as Pa went water skiing with the croc lunging off into the bayou. It was was odd seeing one in Louisiana. Pa's fate was now

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  • at the mercy of a 2,600 pound crocodile. Pa kept his balance on the croc as they glided across the Bayou. "You okay, Pa?" I shouted steering the boat hard to the right. He kept on

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  • waggling his arms like a surfer. One turn from the croc & Pa was airborn. The gator caught him, chomped him several times, then swallowed Pa down whole. A muffled "no" was heard.

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  • "Sure, but what if instead of a Croc...Pa gets eaten by a MAN." The board of Lifetime television movie writers stood up in applause. 'Men Are Evil and they Ate my Dad' would air on

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  • all the odd channels in China at 4:57 am! I was so excited! My dream was to see my name on TV, and well, the America's Most Wanted Episode doesn't count, I was framed I say! So I

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  • put on my favorite neckerchief and Icky Shuffle headband, put on my lipstick, and walked before the cameras where I ironically slipped on a banana peel and crushed the puppy.

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1 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Nov 30 2012 @ 13:48

    In the voice of George Takei (note not his words), "What if Ernest Hemingway never killed himself? Or rather, waited a while before killing himself? I believe this answers those questions."

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