Oh no, this is it, it's happening. iBurnout,

Oh no, this is it, it's happening. iBurnout, I've reached the point where I'm no longer satisfied by anything my iPhone offers, no app, no update, no goddamn notification. I long

for more physical pleasures and note the iphone has become slimmer throughout its iterations.I insert it in places unmentionable in places like this,and sigh. It will do. For now.

Next I will I sign up for all sorts of mailing lists, and give out my email address and phone number to as many sites as possible. Then, I will set the iphone to vibrate mode and

hope for the best! I know that before long my phone will be jangling around in my pocket, alight with messages and emails. And I'm just certain that what I've been waiting for will

be mine! I skipped along happily, then walked with a smile, then trodded looking glum, until I stopped and took out my phone. Where was the call I was suppsed to get? A voice in my

head told me to throw away my phone, my stories, my language. I kept walking, without expectations -- or so I thought -- oh, heck! -- but when I came to, the one I loved was

a harbinger of evil. it's hard to love a harbinger of evil. The prospect of being intimate and vulnerable is totally loaded. But the cries of the heart demand that you surrender.

Surrender your virginity so I can shove my willy up your asshole

was not what you would normally expect to read in a children's story book. Random Typo Publishing House had received complaints from parents concerned with the lack of happily ever