Avery always knew what he wanted. He was

  • Avery always knew what he wanted. He was just that kind of person. That is why, at the young age of nineteen, he knew he wanted to be with his boyfriend Jason forever. So Jason now

  • felt pressured to invest in cryogenic preservation plans for them both, just to make Avery happy. "You sure you want this, hon? This stuff ain't cheap. What about Tahiti?" With

  • the price of death these days, she'd never get to sunbathe in Tahiti. "Ah, just bury me in the backyard!" she declared to Avery in a moment of passionate boldness. "I wanna

  • start a cemetery there to make some side-dough." The bodies came in by the dozen. But during the burials, Scruffy's bones were unearthed and subsequently stolen. The dog sued.

  • Sadly, the Second Court of Dog Appeals found that he had no standing to sue, being dead and all. They sent the case back to district court to determine if zombies had standing.

  • The District Court Judge, the right honorable Judge Smedley, found after having a good sniff of the Plaintiff that he was as Dead as a Dog and should be buried with his bones.

  • Whoever had removed the bones from the corpse and left the rest right there in the courtroom must have been a dastardly bastard indeed. And a callous prick, to boot. To boot him,

  • we'd need an even callouser prick, like Simon Cowell or Judge Judy. As luck would have it, both were presently in the courtroom. I instructed Judy to grab the head; Simon got the

  • puss-oozing arm, they pulled. Simon Cowell's grip slipped, he fell back into the deputy, his taser fell, landing on its trigger. Volt-charged darts slammed into Judge Judy's

  • toes, which made them swell to 50 times their size. Simon ran as if his life depended on it, which it did because of his toephobia. And besides...they stank!



  1. SlimWhitman Dec 03 2011 @ 07:50

    Can a taser fall on it's trigger? Bad design. Judge Judy should sue.

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