"Convergence my eye!" groused my smartphone

"Convergence my eye!" groused my smartphone (unbeknownst to me at the time). "I'll show you Convergence!" It filled me in later by way of a trojan dream-rec app, and now

I was playing with my phone, just like everyone else on the red line - and we all missed our stops. I was getting off at the corner of state and lake, where

I noticed a kind mime handing out balloon animals. However, the children were scared of him and ran away. I felt sad for the poor mime, so I went to get a balloon. His eyes were

like burning coal and his hands nimble with the latex. He didn't ask what he should make. He told fortunes with his balloons and he was deadly honest about my future.

"You are about to bid adieu to a hundred dollar bill" presaged the savant "It will leave you for a beautiful girl in a skimpy cost..." POP!! "Wait, that balloon is extra...

um, what's the word? Extradited? Extravagant? Yeah, maybe. That balloon is extravagant, and for women only. Look, see? It reads: 'For her pleasure only.'" "I hate balloons," said

a man’s voice behind me. My blood ran cold. I stood up straight and turned around. It was a badge. A parking warden. He was looking at the condom packet in the girl’s hand. “Balloo

-n for an anti-birthday party, perhaps?" the parking warden quipped. We had no idea a cop could be so witty. He ripped the condom packet from the girl's hand. Our date was over.

took her to a movie and then to a nice frozen yogurt place, then I offered to take her home with me. That's when she broke the news: She was a disco clown. It was over.