I wish I was sitting in my loungeroom playing

I wish I was sitting in my loungeroom playing boggle with my family. That used to be so much better than sitting in prison.

But now prison was the superior experience. Shanking >>>> 8-letter words + Uncle Rick boggling past the timer. Really, I did the math, double-checked and everything. My boggle gang

Uncle Rick bragged about his algebraic abilities but soon he'd be eating humble pi. During my last stint in Sing Sing, I'd been practicing my math skills with the other inmates.

Also ping-pong. I now had the cool bravado of a mathematician mixed with a ping-pong player's cocky confidence. I told Uncle Rick to solve *THIS* equation, and I put my paddle

in that old familiar place and jiggled it a little. Uncle Rick smiled uncomfortably. The Ping-Pong player, someone named Private Gump, had trouble understanding.

The rules about grunting too loud, as tennis players famously do, were strict. Little Rick told Private Gump people were sleeping upstairs. "Some people work night shift!" Austere

glares from the barracks made Private Gump feel about two feet tall. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you was asleep!" he called to them. "SHUSH!!!" Little Rick answered. Then a grenade

fell out of Little Carl's footlocker and spayed them all with shrimp gumbo and Star shaped hamburgers. Private Gump jumped into action passing out lobster forks & comet tail fries.

"Well, gollllleee, will ya lookie there..." Gump's smile spread across his face like measles on a porcupine...uh...I mean porkie pine. "Jenny, you just got spayed. No kids for us"