Adolf stood mesmerized by the image in his

Adolf stood mesmerized by the image in his mirror. He could never

get over the uncanny resemblance. The pale complexion, asymmetrically parted brown hair and bulldog blue eyes. He suspected he was adopted but never brouched the subject with his

parents, who shut him down whenever he attempted to ask about his mysterious past. Until he found the pictures in the attic, of the people that could be his real parents. Frowning

faces glowered back at him from the photograph with obvious disapproval. He decided that these dreadful people couldn't possibly be his parents, either. But he was wrong. They were

much more fulfilling life as a court jester. He didn't realize it yet, but he had a knack for telling the truth and making people laugh. Traits which would otherwise be useless.

He became inspired. At first he used light make-up on his face. As enthusiasm gave way to frenzy, he graduated to permanent markers and unwillingly made a clown out of himself.

When he showed up at the board meeting in the morning with his new clown face, he was laughed out to the meeting and escorted off the premises by security. The Juggalos didn't want

A corporate man like him representing them in front of the foriegn governments. After all, he was a rather silly man and there seemed plenty of reasons to take him off the team.

But the reason we chose, above all else, was that we just didn't like him. In fact, we hated him so much that we booted him off the whole planet. So long, sucker!