I exhaled slowly, exhausted. "For the last

I exhaled slowly, exhausted. "For the last time, I told you, I'd never seen her face before last night." These cops were incompetent chumps. What they didn't know was

I had seen her before, but she wasn't wearing mime make-up. The cop showed me another, "Here's her corpse in an invisible box, any ideas?" I kept mum about the whole situation.

But I always say that because no one listens to my wonky drab stories of my small, pathetic life. One of my hobbies is hyperventilating, its great because

I can travel to another planet of fuzzy wuzzy bears with slurred speech just like me. The bears tell me to

burn the midnight oil, but I know its just animal fat. The bears have been incinerating hunters for years. Up on Bear Burning mountain (which of couse was turned to Burning Bear)

all is quiet on the mountain, except for the owls and the cats and the shining of the stars. And if the bears should rock on wicker chairs, then they be sippin' of The Recipe, on

Bear Mountain, living in unusual alliance with the hillbilly neighbors.Whenever Sheriff Spud Jones tried to investigate rumored production of meth, moonshine or cannabis, the bears

would eat it all in an unconvincing attempt to hide the evidence. But Sheriff Spud Jones had seen many a stoned, hallucinating bear in his youth, and could identify them by their

tendency to hang out in the seedier bars in town, hitting on the beers and trying to drink the waitresses. That, and the fact that they were giant, fur-covered mammals, not rocks.